The following is a script that I wrote for a final project in my History of Creativity class. As a Word document, it is a seven-page script and only represents a small portion of an actual episode. As a disclaimer, I assumed that the reader of the script is very familiar with the TV series Psych through the fifth season. I did not take time to develop the characters or their relationships with one another. I also did not intend this script to be sufficient for a complete one hour episode of the TV show. It is my intention to build up the main ideas enough that the series long plot may be put into this episode if necessary. There is enough ambiguity still in the script to allow for interpretation and changes if needed. I intentionally placed this particular episode toward the end of the end of the fifth season so as to not have to resolve any issues from the season finally of the fifth season (Lassiter discovers that Shawn and Juliette are dating; this being that main reason I placed this episode in the fifth season and not later).
Here it is:
Act I: Good acting
Scene 1: 1989
Shawn is wearing a Ninja turtles T-shirt and doing a project on Leonardo da Vinci.
Dad: Shawn, why are you drawing a picture of a blue turtle?!
Shawn: it’s a school project. My teacher let me decide to do a historical project and I chose Leonardo. He is my favorite ninja turtle!
Dad: SHAWN! I'm pretty sure she meant Leonardo da Vinci. The famous artist…
Shawn: that’s why I have a blue ninja….
Dad: No Shawn. Da Vinci, the Renaissance man! He is a famous painter, philosopher, engineer, designer…. Did you know that he thought of the first helicopter? You need to use all the steps of learning: remember, understand, apply, analyze, evaluate, and create. Not some mutant turtle Shawn.
Shawn: well dad, my teacher said I could also do my project on Michelangelo. He is the orange turtle!
Dad: Shawn, No!
Scene 2: Santa Barbara at the Motor Speedway 2011
Gus: ‘Bout time we both have a weekend off. Great day at the amateur NASCAR race day and even better was you covering your hair when they announced that Patrick Dempsey was racing today.
Shawn: Gus, that man would make me soil my armor if I had been born in the Middle Ages. Besides, he has perfect hair and you know I want that!
Gus: it was your choice…
Shawn: Ya, well… who knew that McDreamy was a NASCAR driver. You would think it would be against his acting contract.
Gus: Whatever Shawn. I’m just glad we are going to the Renaissance Shakespeare Festival. I haven’t been able to go the last few years because I’ve had work. And last year you decided last minute, to take me on that ski resort vacation for two to Windsor because Abigail left the country.
Shawn: Man, it was so worth it! World class skiing, caught an International art thief, …
Gus: … had a gun pointed at you. Anything else Shawn?!
Shawn: Nope. That was pretty much everything.
Gus: Meh. Forget about it. What time is it? We cannot be late for the three O’clock showing of Othello. They were the only tickets I could get.
Shawn: “To be, or not to be. That is the question.”
Gus: No Shawn. Not Hamlet, Othello. It’s the only play that Shakespeare wrote that addresses the stereotyping of social class, sex, and race.
Shawn: Is it the one that you were in while we were in high school?
Gus: Yes Shawn, it is.
Shawn: I could never understand why they had you play the part of some white Shakespearean character. It still eludes me quite frankly.
Gus: Othello is black, Shawn. That’s why I got the part. So now why time is it?
[Shawn’s i-phone makes a noise.]
Shawn: Hold on. I’ve got a message…. It’s from the festival.
Gus: How did you get a notification?
Shawn: There’s an app for that! Oh man. Our showing of Othello is canceled. Bummer…
Gus: What?! WHY?!!
Shawn: I don’t know. Just says it’s canceled.
Gus: um, maybe they will exchange our tickets for another play later today.
Shawn: That’s ridiculous. Come on, let’s just go back to the office and get a hot dog on the board walk. Your treat!
Gus: Get in the car Shawn. We are going to the Festival!
Shawn: Okay. To the Blueberry, black-man!
Gus: That’s not funny Shawn! You can’t call a brother black.
Shawn: Come on, it is just like in high school when you called your car the black-mobile.
Gus: Shut up and get in MY car. Okay Shawn?
Shawn: Methinks I hear a horse. Off to the Festival! H-yah!
Scene 3: Some Serious Acting
Gus: I wonder if they have upped the security since I last came. There seems to be a lot of police cars.
Shawn: Maybe…
Gus: No Shawn… Shawn No! We have this weekend off. We don’t need a case.
Shawn: You almost read my mind, but backwards. But fine then….
[They park, and enter the festival.]
Shawn: There are a lot of pretty women here. But there is only one for me. And she is my Juliette and I her Romeo.
Gus: Again Shawn, wrong play. Hey, that’s weird. There is police tape on the outside of the theater that Othello is in.
Shawn: Oh yea. Well, I guess I’ll have to get a feeling about this one.
Gus: We are not working this weekend! Remember Shawn?
Shawn: It is for the better good of the public. And Jewels and Lassy are probably already here. And is that Leonardo da Vinci?! They have everyone here.
[Shawn walks over by himself at first. Then they walk over to the Festival security guards watching the entrance to the theater.]
Shawn: Hello fellow do-gooders
Security 1: No one is allowed in.
Shawn: That is interesting… [Shawn bringing his hand up to his head] I am Shawn Spencer, head psychic for the Santa Barbara Police Department. And this is my partner, Michelange-no-one.
Gus: Ciao.
Security 2: Really?! So are you the ones who…?
Gus: Yes.
Shawn: So you see, we need to get by and help our other public service men and women.
Security 2: That’s great. Just go down the hall to your left, take the second door and go back stage. The cops have been here for about ten minutes now.
Gus: Thank you.
[Backstage. Shawn walks in holding his head.]
Shawn: Methinks I heard a horse. “NEEEHH!” Afternoon Lassy, Jewels. So what happened here?
Lassiter: This actor was killed. But we are not sure what the murder weapon was, possibly an old arrow of some sort. But I sure haven’t seen... Shawn! What are you doing here?!
Shawn: Well you see Lassy, we were at the race track and decided to say hi to our favorite detectives.
Gus: We were on our way to see the next showing of Othello but it has been canceled.
Juliette: And you two don’t know why?
[Pointing to the body]
Shawn: It was his fault! Am I right?
Juliette: This is Othello.
Shawn: Gus, isn’t this how the play ends?
Gus: something like this with a few more people dead.
Shawn: Seems as if he really got into his role.
Juliette: Then I hope he is the only one in character.
Act II: Enjoy the festivities
Scene 1: Gus has the part
Stage Manager: This play was going to be the main event for the entire festival…. It was where we projected to make the most profit! And now we are going to have to close early this year and never open again.
Gus: We are terribly sorry about that. I love coming here every year. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.
Stage Manager: I need another Othello! Anyone!
Shawn: I know someone who can play the part. In fact he has been the main character in the play that you want to perform. Gus! My partner, he is your man. He knows all the lines, he can act…
Stage Manager: I don’t care if he can act, I’m desperate. I’ll hire you. We really can’t do anything else the rest of the day, so be here tomorrow and we will get you fitted into costume. [Exit]
Gus: But I don’t remember anything from the play. Wait! ... Shawn!
Shawn: It’s your big chance! You’ve got this bud!
Lassiter and Juliette: [to Gus] You can act?
Gus: I was a thespian in high school thank you.
Shawn: I’m hungry. Let’s go see if this Renaissance Shakespeare festival joint has any great grub! Gus, you coming?
Gus: You owe me lunch big time mister ‘I-have-to-work-on-my-day-off’.
Shawn: I just got you an acting job…
Gus: But only because the dude is dead! And what if I am going to get hurt?
Shawn: Dude, you’ll be fine. And this is to keep this place running for the next few years. So be for real, because you are the main character is the biggest play in Santa Barbara this year.
Gus: You know that’s right. Now you really owe me lunch!
Scene 2: a Walk to Florence
Gus: There, right there is the pizza place here at the festival. They bring in cooks from Italy. They are the renaissance men of pizza!
Shawn: Dude, you don’t even know what that means! Renaissance men of pizza!
Gus: They are creative, innovative, and masterful at designing and building so many different types of pizza; old and new, yummy and orally tantalizing.
Shawn: Come on man. Everyone knows the only Renaissance man that ever lived was Leonardo da Vinci…
Gus: … and the only reason you know that is because of the Discovery Channel special last week!
Shawn: That’s preposterous Gus! You… hav-….noth-…
Gus: Like I said, up until a week ago you thought Leonardo was just a ninja turtle.
Shawn: Leonardo is the BLUE ninja turtle. And he will always be the Leonardo that is dearest to my heart.
Gus: Puh. [to the cashier] I would like your specialty Canadian bacon and pineapple. Please.
Shawn: A walk to Florence, eh.
Gus: Yeah Shawn. It’s delicious and any member of the Medici family would kill to eat from this fine establishment.
Shawn: Did Leonardo ever go to Florence?
Gus: Maybe. He was in Italy at one point to study art. Why?
Shawn: Cause he’s walking out of the back with a slice of the renaissance special.
[Shawn notices that the da Vinci actor is left handed]
Gus: What did you see?
Shawn: Huh?!
Gus: You made your “I found something” face.
Shawn: The man who plays da Vinci is a lefty. It’s a shame really.
Gus: What are you talking about Shawn?
Shawn: Lefties are in the same league as gingers. They just don’t have souls. But I’ll make an exception for Larry Bird.
Gus: Randy Johnson.
Shawn: Mike Tyson.
Gus: Mark Twain.
Shawn: Phil Collins… Okay. So such a rash generalization doesn’t work here.
Gus: Not to mention a hand full of U.S. presidents, Julius Caesar, Keanu Reeves…
Shawn: Keanu isn’t even human.
Gus: You know that’s right.
Gus & Shawn: WHAT!!!
Scene 3: Leonardo Research, Oh!
[Walking through the fair and eating pizza]
Gus: That is some of the best darn pizza I have ever had. Mmmmm. They even glaze the pineapple for extra flavor.
Shawn: Yeah, whatever. It’s a shame that all of these beautiful women can’t have me because I am all to Jewels.
Gus: then leave them to me. [to a girl] Hello. My name is Michelangel-OH you’re fine! [girl blows him off] Dude, she digs me.
Shawn: Sure, about as much as the holy Val Kilmer digs the Penguin.
Gus: Whatever Shawn. To change the subject, I don’t think I can play the part of Othello. I just have not…
Shawn: Are you listening to yourself?! You know all the lines, you are a great actor, and possibly a better black man then the dead guy anyways. Speaking of the dead guy, didn’t you think it was interesting that he was killed with what Lassy says is an old arrow of some sort.
Gus: I agree. That did seem strange. Got any ideas what it might be from?
Shawn: Possible candidates include the Welch long bow, a modern compound bow, your Halloween Indian bow…
Gus: It came with the costume set.
Shawn: … so really, I don’t know. But when has that ever stopped me from pointing my ever elusive finger at someone. Let’s go visit the coroner. They should have something from the biopsy.
Gus: I’ll be polite but I am following my personal code and not getting close to any open dead body.
Shawn: You’ll be just fine “Michelangel-“
Scene 4: What is slower-ish?
Gus: -OH! that is not right?
Woody (the coroner): Afternoon Gus. Oh, hello Shawn.
Shawn: Afternoon Woody. Have you looked at Othello yet? … Because, we have a question or two about him.
Gus: Why is there an …! Just breathe Gus. [Deep breath] Inhale, then exhale.
Woody: There was a bad accident and I needed to get all of the glass out of the arm. [To Shawn] To answer your question, yes I have, and his wound is curious indeed. [Goes over to the body] You see the wound here in his back?
Shawn: It didn’t kill him?
Woody: No, no. It did.
Shawn and Gus: Okay.
Woody: But the wound is too large for him to have been shot. You know, with a gun; and there are no burn marks on his skin or clothes suggesting that the projectile was moving slower-ish.
Gus: You’re sure it was a projectile?
Woody: Yes. Again the wound is clean, too clean for human hands. But it seems whatever was shot was pulled out of him.
Shawn: What can you shot “slower-ish” and then pull it out again?
Gus: Woody, could it have been a Welch Long bow?
Shawn: Gus, don’t be ridiculous.
[Gus glares at Shawn]
Woody: No, didn’t go deep enough. But these entrance and exit marks are similar to the marks my crossbow arrows make on my targets.
Gus: What do you use as targets?
Woody: Old, no good taxidermy animals.
Shawn: Well thanks again Woody. And good luck with the extra arm.
Woody: Bye guys!
Act III: Creativity and the Crossbow
Scene 1: Crossbow, the History of
[Back at the Psych office]
Gus: Crossbow tag, Crossbow history… here we go. Shawn, says here that the first major crossbow was drawn using both feet and both arms.
Shawn: And how does that help us?
Gus: It doesn’t. But it’s cool! Okay, this is better. Says that Leonardo da Vinci first designed the crossbow as one of several military weapons he created which also includes the tank.
Shawn: … and don’t tell me. Some sort of helicopter thing.
Gus: Yeah. How’d you know?!
Shawn: Gus, don’t trick me with your foolery. It is neither needed nor welcome under the circumstances. And I thought he was a painter.
Gus: You don’t know a thing about da Vinci, do you Shawn?
Shawn: I did a project on him while in the sixth grade.
Gus: I remember that project. You showed up to class in a blue ninja turtle costume.
Gus: Still Woody might be spot on with the crossbow thing. We need to go back to the Festival and talk to some of those knights or blacksmiths.
Shawn: You’re right. Someone with valor, courage, and deep itch for murder is waiting for us. To the blueberry!
Scene 2: False alarm
[At the fairgrounds]
Gus: Hum, hello ladies.
Shawn: We are working, not looking.
Gus: Just because you have Jewels and I can’t seem to keep a girl for a few weeks. I need a solid wing man.
Shawn: Well I guess I could hel- [while turning to a pretty girl in passing]-lo there my lady. This is my good friend Copernicus Oolu and oh how he could talk about the stars in your eyes.
Pretty girl: Sorry Copernicus. But I have to go do a show right now. So maybe I’ll see you later. [Exit]
Gus: Sure thing starry eyes.
Shawn: Now can we work?
Gus: Did you just do that to satisfy my complaint?
Shawn: … and if I did?
Gus: That would be totally insensitive and…
[Shawn and Gus entering the Knights’ dressing room]
Shawn: Hello one and all! And all for one!
Gus: That’s from “The Three Musketeers” Shawn.
Shawn: I know, but I just love that movie. Again to all knights, who here owns or uses a crossbow? [All raise their hands] Okay then. Who has an old replica crossbow? [Only three raise their hands] Thank you all! I need to talk to you three.
Gus: You may continue…
Knight 1: What is this about?
Shawn: I’ll be the one asking the questions… [Sees that all the knights are wearing swords]
Gus: … but if you want to ask some questions that should be fine.
Shawn: My name is Shawn Spencer, head Psychic for the Santa Barbara police department. And this is my partner Adam Heisenberg. He seems a bit uncertain about the three of you.
Knight 2: We have to get ready for the seven O’clock show.
Gus: This will only take a second. May we see your crossbows gentlemen?
All Knights: Sure…
[Shawn simultaneously follows all three Knights to their dressing booths and focuses in on pictures, news paper articles, magazines, hygiene habits, crossbow conditions, etc. Shawn then dramatically touches each of the crossbows to get a reading]
Shawn: Hummmm, Ooooohhhh, powwwwing-. Thank you sir Knight.
Knight 3: You’re a phony!
Shawn: And you have never used your bow! So take it out of my sight.
Knight 3: How did you know tha-…
Shawn: Of course I’m right! [To Knight 2] You can go too.
Gus: Thank you kind sirs.
[Shawn and Gus leave the dressing room]
Shawn: False alarm.
Gus: What!?
Shawn: None of them did it. The first one was at birthday party; there was a dated picture. The second was going through his stack of home and garden magazines and the third has never used his crossbow.
Gus: So now who killed Othello with a crossbow?
Shawn: No clue. But you, the next big Shakespearean hit actor, need to get some rest for your first day of rehearsal!
Gus: You still own me lunch for that.
Shawn: Didn’t I buy…
Gus: Don’t even try it Shawn! Don’t even try.
Shawn: You’re too good Mr. Heisenberg.
Gus: Get in the car so I can go home.
Act IV: Dress Rehearsal
Scene 1: Costume Fitting
Gus: Do you have to touch my butt?!
Tailor 1: [not taking any attitude] I need you to be quiet, stand straight, and stop breathing.
Shawn: Seriously Gus. Just do what he says, while I will make my way over to the food table. Well, enjoy!
Gus: Shawn! SHAWN! Don’t leave me here alone.
Tailor 1: Stop whining.
[Gus sighs]
Scene 2: One man’s Food is another man’s as well
Juliette: Shawn!
Shawn: Hello there my Juliette.
[They kiss]
Juliette: Carlton has been at my hip all day. He is getting way to into partner awareness day.
Lassiter: Detective, you shouldn’t just run off like that without telling me…
Shawn: Come, come now Lassy. Don’t let a woman in heels run away from you.
Lassiter: Shut your little donut filled pie hole…
Shawn: At the moment it is a donut hole. I could actually go for more of those. Oh, I have a lead on the Othello case.
Juliette: You do? What is it?!
Shawn: He may have been killed by a crossbow or some sort. But none of the knights did it… so it’s kind of a dead end lead.
Lassiter: So why did you tell us that pointless information?
Shawn: That pointless information will save you time catching the real murderer.
[Lassiter phone rings with the ring tone, “Eye of the Tiger”]
Lassiter: Afternoon Chief… Yes I looked at… We were on our way when… Yes Chief. We’re on our way. Chief wants all four of us at the station ASAP. [to Shawn] She wants you to look over some of the case files.
Shawn: Sounds great! But first I really want some donut holes. Who’s with me?
Gus: Shawn?
Shawn: Alright, I’ll just get them after.
Lassiter: Spencer, just get in the car.
Shawn: Right-O Lassy. Gus, to the Blueberry!
Gus: I have to stay for rehearsal!
Lassiter: Then you’re coming with us Spencer.
Juliette: Let’s go Shawn.
Scene 3: At the Station
Chief: Spencer, Detectives, in my office!
[In the Chief of Police’s office]
Lassiter: Chief, I assure you that I had… wait, why are we here?
Chief: To look over the Othello case files. And Spencer, I want you to look over these files. I’ll be right back. I want answers! [Exit]
[Shawn grabs the Othello case file]
Juliette: Shawn, what are you doing?
Shawn: Looking for a clue. I’ll get to those other files done later. This one is a little more important guys. [Shawn flips though the file looking for keywords and then key clues in each picture]
Juliette: Did you get anything?
Lassiter: Oh come on!
Shawn: Shun the non-believer…
Lassiter: Whatever. [Exit]
Shawn: Sweet, sweetest love of the depth of my heart. I could love thee with…
Juliette: What are you doing Shawn?
Shawn: It’s Shakespeare right?
Juliette: Just hurry and solve this one. [They kiss] And don’t forget those other files the Chief gave you. [They kiss again]
Shawn: I’ll get them done, my lady.
Act V: The Man of a few too many Talents
Scene 1: Gus’ Big Break
Gus: Man am I glad to see you! These stage people are crazy. And I keep seeing the da Vinci dude creeping around.
Shawn: Don’t worry about him. And dude! Awesome costume!
Gus: You really think so?
Shawn: Not really. But those are some pretty cool buttons if I may say so.
Gus: Well you can’t. You just insulted my costume!
Shawn: You don’t even like it anyways.
Stage Manager: Five minutes!
Gus: Shawn, you have to go.
Shawn: Good luck my favorite black Othello.
[Shawn leaves backstage. As he is walking away, he looks back and sees the coat of da Vinci pass behind the building]
Shawn: Creepy da Vinci. [Shawn goes to see the da Vinci tent at the festival] Well, it was really him… I didn’t know that da Vinci invented the crossbow… that is curiously missing. Oh, no. Gus! [Pull up a contact on his phone] Jewels get back to the Festival NOW! I’ve got it, but Gus is in trouble!
Juliette: [on the phone] We will be right there!
Shawn: Meet me backstage!
Scene 2: The few too many Talents
[Shawn sneaks up on da Vinci who is hiding behind a curtain waiting for “Othello” to be alone backstage. Da Vinci notices and quickly turns to shoot at Shawn but Shawn jumps back. Da Vinci gets up to go look for Shawn.]
Da Vinci: You don’t stand a chance mister police man.
[Juliette opens a door and pulls her gun on da Vinci]
Juliette: Drop you weapon and hands on your head!
Lassiter: Hands on your head. HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!
[Gus, Stage Manager, and several others come backstage]
Gus: Shawn, what are you doing?
Juliette: He called us and said he figured it all out.
Shawn: Well, needless to say, he did it. Thanks for taking my fire away. I kept thinking of four names: Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael…
Lassiter: The ninja turtles?!
Stage Manager: Or the Renaissance artists…
Shawn: Good job Detective Splinter. [Shawn bows] The marks left by the arrows were clean and definitely made by a…
Gus: Projectile.
Shawn: Yes, a projectile. The exit wound from the arrow gave it away. What else is a projectile that you pull out? Interestingly enough, Leonardo da Vinci invented the crossbow. I also saw that it was a left handed person by the way he left the body at the scene, pun intended.
Juliette: But why kill Othello?
Da Vinci: I did it becau…
Shawn: I’m the psychic here. I’ll tell you why. Notice the buttons on the Othello costume that Gus has on. Those are some darn good looking buttons, a bit too good to just be buttons and not high priced precious jewels!
Da Vinci: I needed to hide them and then when I went to get them out of the costume he was on stage.
Lassiter: Okay, but why kill him and leave the jewels?
Stage Manager: We saw something wrong with that costume and switched it out during intermission.
Shawn: At which time da Vinci here left to go get his crossbow and when he came back the costume had been switched and was already at the tailor’s.
Gus: So he was waiting around to kill me?!
Shawn: Well, not quite my favorite black Othello friend.
Gus: You said I was fine Shawn!
Shawn: You’re alive and have all your friends here to protect…
Gus: You own me lunch for a week this time Shawn. And not P.B. and J.’s all week like last time.
Shawn: I made them with love.
Gus: Whatever Shawn. [Exit]
Shawn: Gus, GUS! He’ll come around.
